Avengers: Star dust
by Stella Limegood
Summary: Life was made by something; with a myriad of varieties, a dash of chaos, and all in all it was quite messy. Most people accept that as the final word on the origin of life. Others are consumed by the question? None more so than Loki, once Odin-son, then Laufey-son, now no-ones son? For a woman on earth, the answer to said question means one thing, she's going to need more coffee.
1. Chapter 1

Once long ago there was a tiny planet out in the vastness of space, home to a small ape like descended species called humans. The planet was called Earth by the humans, for this that and the other reason.

Ultimately though the name of the planet really doesn't matter much. Why you ask?

Well to put it bluntly. At the other end of the very vastness of space was a world called Asgard. Home to a race of beings similar to humans, but descended by wolfish monkey like creatures, dutifully called Asgardians.

This fact about the Asgardians leads the rest of us to another. Which is that due to their genetic heritage "pack mentality will often prevail" hence the name of the Asgardians being the same as the name they chose for their planet.

It is important we understand the Asgardians alongside the humans, because the story, of which we are reading, starts on Asgard.

To go into better detail our story starts specifically in a gaudy golden throne room.

A very large, spacious, giant golden throne room, that would make many of the greedier human beings of the planet earth, wet themselves in a sign of excitement.

Not to mention the effect it would have on the Pirates of Sherabunana, however will discuss more on them later.

At the moment we enter an important discussion between the Leader of Asgard, Odin & his son Thor, within the golden throne room. Where Odin sits upon his great, golden chair, & listens as Thor tells his father of the recent events that took place on the planet Earth. A retelling that unfortunately makes Odin want to toss his own head into the nearest black hole available.

"So you see father. Clearly something must be done! Loki must be dwelt with," said Thor his voice thick with mixed feelings.

"Indeed. I must think long and hard on all that has happened. Are you quite sure that the Midgardians (Asgard term for earthlings) will not be engaging in any hostile activity in retaliation?" asked Odin thinking himself to sound very important.

"As I have said before Father. The earthlings were merely alarmed. They wish us no ill will in fact I have been asked by Lord Stark to join him in a drinking festival." Replied Thor smugly.

"Ah. Well then," huffed Odin, as he rose out of his favorite golden chair, shifting his weight so that no one could hear his limbs crack ever so slightly from the constant pressure of being stuck in the same position for too long.

"I shall go at once to address your brother."

"I leave it to your wisdom," said Thor as he watched his father Odin leave the Throne Room; he reviewed the things that had transpired on Midgard as best as his mind could. His thought pattern if put into sentences looked something like this:

My brother lives.

Mead!

My brother has gone mad.

Earth is a pleasant place, but very green.

I wonder how my woman Jane is? Should I call upon her later?

A metal man is attacking me?

My hammer needs to be polished.

Why is Loki so upset?

More Mead!

My brother has gone very mad.

Earthlings are strange.

I need a cup of mead.

Stupid Loki.

Ironically enough, the last thought number 13, was very similar to another's being's first thought, residing even more so incredibly on the same planet.

Deep in the cells of Asgard Loki was extremely pissed off. Never had he imagined himself to have been so utterly, inexorably stupid! He'd made a mockery of things this time, and what's worse is he hadn't planned on making a mockery; therefore he couldn't enjoy the sweet chaos it usually brought him, when the unexpected occurred. No, this time he'd gone and messed everything up. How stupid?! If he had to compare it to how stupid it was, he suggest it was the equivalent of a child deciding to sled off a cliff. Sure the ride was fun, but the landing? Well. That's what hospitals were for.

As Loki continued his internal rant of self-hatred, he paced his little cell. Back & forth, back & forth, noting every now & then that the strange pile of things in the decrepit corner was the cell's last resident. Also the paint was peeling over the walls, not to mention that if they're had been heating obviously it was no longer running. Leading him to conclude that the cell was much like many cells very uncomfortable.

"How could this have happen?," he spoke aloud voicing his thoughts on his current state. He hadn't bathed in a total of three days, four including the trip he took in space. His lack of hygiene care was starting to bother him on top of it all. "There's no way I'm getting out of Asgard alive entirely intact, not without being stripped or maimed by Odin. Once Thor tells him of my attempt to take over Midgard. That's it," he spoke sullenly.

Already he could imagine all the horrible punishments Odin would inflict upon him, an unwanted, questionably loved, kidnapped, trouble making, Jotunn monstrosity, of a step-son. He felt himself panic slightly. Only allowing a small tremor of the shoulders to give away his level of trepidation. "No," he said simply, "it just won't due. I have to escape."

Little did Loki know that at the exact moment he had this thought, Odin had gotten detained on his way down to punish Loki by a weeping Freya.

Normally, Freya was what many considered at one point on the planet Midgard or (1200s Earth-time to be more precise) a peaceful, caring Goddess, often forgetting that she rode on chariots with a helm of her own. On the planet Asgard, though Freya was seen as being the calm, gentle, quiet ruler, Odin had been privy to a simple truth. An angry Odin is one thing, an upset Freya quite another.

Thus when met by his hysterical wife, in the corridor on his way to the dungeons, for the first time since a seven year old Thor had gotten in trouble for breaking his Mother's beloved ( )Odin felt himself grow cold with fear.

"Odin! What in the entire universe is going on with my son! Why is Loki in chains? Where did Thor go the other day!? You will explain!" Freya snapped, one hand flying in the air in dramatic gestures. The other placed firmly upon her hip in that age, old universal description, "_I mean business bucko! Or heads will fly!_"

And fly they would, if Odin didn't answer her question.

"Well you see wife, it appears that our son Loki," Odin began

"Loki! Blessed be! He's alive! My precious mischief sweet!" interrupted Freya, hands clasping together in joy!

It must be said that despite, Loki's assumptions, he had been fully missed by his stepmother Freya. She like countless other good step-mothers before her had wept for at least a day or more after his supposed fall to death off of the rainbow bridge. And despite his attempts to murder his father in his bed, take over Asgard, nearly back hand his brother to death, and above all skip over her annual bring a son to tea time party, she had truly missed him.

Besides in Freya's mind it was all just signs of their sons pre-bus cent immortally speaking way of showing he was still growing.

"Yes wife. Loki did survive," began Odin a second time,

" Wait dear husband? Why has our son not returned home to us if he was alive?" cried Freya suddenly realizing that if Loki had been alive. There had been no reason for him to miss her teatime with a son party.

"Wife it would seem Loki still does not accept that we cared for him despite his ….adoption, into our," Odin tried to explain only to have Freya interrupt yet again.

"What! I knew it! I knew it! What good is that rotten all-seeing eye of yours if you can't even see that you're doing a poor job explaining to our son his history!" shrieked Freya in aggravation. She had spent a great deal on that tea for the party, it had been from the remains of a crystal that once shredded down into a powder tasted like a fine peppermint with a dash of silver. It had cost a bloody fortune!

"Yes. Well, despite my attempts our son it seemed not only vanished, but made a few unpleasant friends," replied Odin carefully, watching his wife's fists clenching tightly at her side. Her face turning a rather unflattering shade of red, it didn't take his magical eye to see she was growing upset & fast.

In attempt to placate her, he began telling his wife, of their stepsons' attempts in taking over earth. Starting with Loki's ever so wonderful deal with (what Freya called in short the devil) to the moment where Thor had gone down & picked a fight with a native of Midgard, ending with Loki's received thrashing from a gigantic, green, (brutish, Freya added) native of earth, to the finale moments when Thor had brought his brother's arse home to Asgard.

By the time Odin was done telling Freya every little detail of what is now known as the popular blockbuster hit, in a parallel universe, called the Avengers. She was ready to take the entire pot of tea and dump it on her two sons along with her husband's heads! Luckily for them, it just so happened that last Asgardian week she & her friends from the LAU, (Ladies of Asgard United) had drank all said tea.


	2. Chapter 2: Evee

Hello fellow Avenger's and Loki Fans! A warning to anyone this fic will eventually have some seriousness in it, but overall it's meant to be ridiculous. On that note I own nothing but the basic minimum plot line and made up characters & the made up planets you don't recognize aka: not Asgard. Well, hope that settles the disclaimer debate. I apologize for any mix-ups or mistakes. Example: A friend brought it to my horrified attention that Freya was not in fact Odin's wife in the film. …. So already I have one big boo boo in my fic from the gecko, instead of fixing it though, I've decided to just roll with it. So sadly I will not be re-editing the first chapter, and wasting even more of my life as it is. (I do have a life you know outside all this…thus lack of updates weekly.)

I think that about covers it all, so I'm going to go ahead & pick it up.

Chapter 2: Introductions.

"_I'd rather be blue. Thinking of you. I'd rather be blue, over you then be happy with somebody else. I'm crazy about ya, without ya, for you I'm strong. I can't do without ya, howcha ma gowcha!"_ *

Sang the voice of a young female on a small stage in the city of Philadelphia. She was garbed in the traditional wear of this strange earth song that consisted of the far too bright colors of Neon Lime Green and Vivid Violet. Which was rather ironic considering that the last one shared her last name.

Evee Vicky Violet was a fairly pretty woman she had bright died orange hair, simple brown eyes, and lots of freckles. She enjoyed eating gallons of chocolate ice cream in her small little flat above a Chinese Restaurant on the corner of 27th Chestnut Street. She was an avid book reader, and often had a point of view on multiple things ranging from, "What do you mean you like _Twig light?_" to "I found _Christopher Moore's novel Fool_ hilarious how about you?" to "Why do you suppose the pope is retiring?"

Yes Evee was a very interesting 23-year-old woman indeed, or at least she thought she was.

On the planet earth there are millions of Evee Vicky Violet's, they don't share her hairpins, or a passion for ice cream, or even her over the top dreams of becoming a famous actress, like _Barbara Streisand_. But they all agree on the one thing, which is to say they all find themselves interesting that and coincidently they also all happen to share the first name of a Pokémon by chance.

The biggest difference between them in fact and this particular Evee Vicky Violet is that unlike her other fellow Evee' Earthlings this Vicky had a very BIG DEEP DARK SECRET.

In fact to even mention this SECRET causes the people on the far off planet of Tabooyen to weep most violently over their afternoon tea trays in utter despair.

It is a SECRET so vile, so awful that Evee herself has sadly unfortunately forgotten it.

Completely.

This has caused a number of problems for are would be heroine. The first being that she has no idea where the rest of her family is, or how it is she came in to possession of her current flat. Or even more so amazingly how it is that she can understand literally any language you throw at her whether it be bad language like the Chinese Restaurant Owner who lived beneath her or simple baby gibberish?

It was one of the many puzzles that had arrived on the planet Earth. Adding to the small blue-planets reputation for being home to a bunch of oddities.

Which was why most aliens went out of their way to avoid the planet altogether, "Better to get stranded on Farlei Five then end up on Earth," a pirate of Sherabunana would often be heard saying at any local space port Tavern in The Silver Plate Galaxy.

This common saying was wildly accepted because the last time an alien had gone to Earth from the Plate Galaxy, they had found themselves amongst earth cannibals. A truly barbaric thing to behold!

It was a shared opinion throughout the Universe that there were enough things out there willing to eat you and your species so the idea that a race of being's voluntarily ate themselves was for lack of a better word: disgusting!

Thus the planet Earth was most ardently ignored for as long as possible.

But the planet Earth is where are story continues, as Evee Vicky Violet made her way off the stage to that wonderful atmosphere of the background sets. She desperately needed a cup of coffee, before her caffeine addicted brain grew anymore in pain at the lack of said coffee. Unfortunately she hadn't been able to stop at the local _Starbucks_ for her peppermint bliss, and had to arrive straight to work, much to her current chagrin.

Still things were looking up; she hadn't fallen down this time because of the Roller Skates. She had also gotten a wink or two from a lecherous old man in the audience. Yes. Life was…well….okay.

As Evee made her way over to the coat rack to gather her belongings to go home her friend Samantha tapped her on the shoulder. "Heyya Eve! You wanta go to the bar with me this afternoon?"

"Sorry Sam. I'm a bit bushed. Also I got finish that painting I started remember?" replied Evee as she zipped her blue jacket up. She felt a tad bit ridiculous between the purple, green, blue and orange of her hair but there was nothing to be done about it. It was either goes home naked or suck it up and venture forth looking like wacko. She chose the latter.

"Oh yeah! I keep forgetting. Your little Miss Artist, say Eve why is it that if your such a talented Artist you never do anything with it?" inquired Sam as she flung her arm around her friends shoulder in what was suppose to be an earthen gesture of camaraderie or just plain pity.

Feeling a bit insulted Evee tried to explain why that was in fact the case, "Well…you see, well it's like this, I tried once, but I couldn't afford oh well…it ..Just I don't know all right! Why do you want to know anyway?"

"Just seems a shame is all." Replied Sam

"Huh?" stuttered Evee.

"You got such talent Eve! Singing, painting! I just can't figure out why you aren't somebody special! Seems a waste is all." Cried Sam.

"…You think I'm a waste?" responded Evee glumly.

"No. No. No!" exclaimed Sam violently.

"Well what do you mean then!?" Evee asked.

"Listen I just think that you should be a _Star _or something! I mean you speak every language I've ever heard of! You sing like a lark, and you paint like Picasso, yet you live in a two-bit flat here in Philadelphia you should be living like _Tony Stark_ or somebody!" Sam cried adamantly.

The word _Star_ had an interesting effect on Evee Vicky Violet. One would have needed above average sight to see it however, for to the regular Earthen Eye it seemed that Evee simply flushed a little and shook in a sort-of _I'm embarrassed fashion._ This was misleading, for instead it was like the magic word to a box in Evee's mind.

In further detail, the nearest comparison of the effect of the word _Star _to Evee, would be something like this:

There are a bunch of frogs sitting on a log, numerous flies are buzzing around and plenty of croaking is being done by the frogs.

All of a sudden one Frog happens to hear a loud Hoot.

The Individual Frog panics! It thinks to itself, "There's an Owl nearby!" Quickly it does the responsible frog thing and tries to warn it's other frogs of the impending doom only to realize the horrible truth.

The Frog and the supposed Owl are one in the same.

Thus there is a large bit of confusion for the Frogowl.

Especially because the Frogowl doesn't exist at all on Earth but thousands of light years away on the planet Trix.

At the word _Star_ Evee felt very much like the misplaced Frogowl, she didn't understand why. Nor was she absolutely certain she even wanted to know the reason behind her mixed up gut feelings, for that matter. All she knew was Sam needed to shut up and that if she didn't get some peppermint coffee soon she was going to get very cranky.

_Back on the far planet of Asgard, a young guard was having the same feeling as Evee, times ten. Loki had broken out of his cell, to somehow disappear. Worse yet Lady Freya and the All-Father had finally made it to that very same cell only to find it empty. It was turning out to be a very unlucky day to be an Asgardian guard._


	3. Chapter 3: 1:25 AM

Hello Avenger fans!: Kay I'm just going to cut strait to the chase this time, 1. I don't own anything except Evee plus plotline idea, everybody else or thing I don't own that is easily recognizable. 2. This is pure madness written for fun. 3. Reality's a pain in the patooty & thus less updates. 4. ….I'll just get on with it then.

Chapter 3.

1:25 in the morning is not a good time.

1:25 in the morning is especially not a good time when one must be up at say 7:00?

1:25 in the morning and realizing you just broke your favorite teacup is just plain awful. Not to mention disheartening and only an additional seasoning to an already dim disposition.

In short, Evee Vicky Violet had just accidentally broken her favorite China teaset from Teavana, and was suffering from the horrible disease of insomnia to boot.

She was out of milk. She was plum pissed off, and lastly there was a man.

A man in… her room?

A man lying on her floor?

A man lying on her carpet?!

A man now passed out, whilst lying on her carpet, drooling! Yuck.

A man she had hit with her teacup out of shear instinct firstly.

Of which she had then grabbed the next closest object, being a lamp that _Arnold Schwartznagger_ could have been proud of, and proceeded to pummel the strange man hard until he had passed out on her floor!

Now to many people out there, for example on the planet Atutatoo, the act of the female beating the crap out of the male would have been the initiation of a bizarre mating ritual, with promises of twenty offspring to follow. Much to the horrors of many over-domineering males in other parts of the universe with the lacking necessary skulls of Iron that the Atutatoo males have developed into literal biological helmets, in terms of survival, during these "love rights".

In other places like on the planet Ole there is the art of the female stabbing whatever male she so desires before sucking out his eyes and then taking what the Earthen's would call, "pleasure". While further still some female species have decided to forgo the whole thing and just obliterate those of opposite gender entirely like on the planet Marm.

This is seen even amongst most of the dumber dimwits of the universe as a bit extreme, but the general point is there are many beings of the universe that would have supported Evee Vicky Violet's first actions towards her new house "guest".

Particularly upon his untimed arrival, into her bedroom of all places!?

It was if nothing else, downright rude.

Evee huffed to herself as she stood in her bedroom. Hair falling out of the top- knot she usually put it in at night. She took a few moments simply gathering up the remains of her more passive nature. This involved some self-pinching and a bit of self-hugging with her arms firmly wrapping themselves around her only now slightly quivering form. If one was to be completely honest there were also just a few tears involved, but to give them any further attention would be pointless.

No instead it must be said that it was the return of Evee's more passive nature, which if given a voice of it's own may not in fact sound that passive at all, that was taking the metaphorically speaking, "bull by the horns" during this situation.

Much to the still shocked aspect of Evee's brain. To further study this situation let us review the dialogue between both parts of Evee Vicky Violets mind.

_Passive Nature walks in, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED HERE?"_

_Shocked Nature responds, "THERE'S A MAN! MAN!"_

_Passive Nature palms face, " I can see that. You twit. Good lord, I leave for a short vacation once a year and just look at us! Will you look at US!"_

_Passive Nature begins mumbling derogatory things, one eye surveying the room around them._

_Shocked Nature starts to sob, "WE COULD HAVE BEEN!...hicup hiccup…WE COULD HAVE BEEN!...KILLED AMONST OTHER THINGS! KILLLELEE!"_

_SLAP._

_Passive Nature waves a finger in Shock's face, red cheek in all, "They'll be none of that! You hear me in there! None of that! This is no time to panic!"_

_Shock whimpers, a little with one hand rubbing the now sore flesh, "Bbbb…bu…bbbutt?"_

_Passive glares at Shock, voice lowered, "Not another word."_

_Shock squeaks, "But?"_

_Passive's glare turns murderous, "Do you want me to slap you again?"_

_Shock just numbly shakes their head a placating no. This seems to appeal to Passive who then puts a calming hand on Shock's shoulder, "There, there let's turn a light on, for starters. Hmmm?"_

Turning a light on was what Evee Vicky Violet then did first, after her surprise encounter with _The Man_ that had decided to enter her home without permission.

As she made her way to the light switch a thought crossed Evee's mind that at least tonight she had decided to sleep in a long pair of pajama's rather than have gone simply nude. Yes, she now saw the necessity of pajama's for every single night for the rest of existence.

Pajama's are a most interesting thing invented on the Planet Earth. It has long been debated by visiting scholars to the Planet Earth known as the Philosophers of Wanning Wax what it is that the actually Pajama's purpose is?

When the Philosopher's had first come to the Planet Earth they had thought that Pajama's alongside pitchforks were some sort of queer ceremonial greeting garb that the people of earth all unanimously put on at night. When further, investigation was made by one brave green colored giant headed Philosopher named Waz; that no the garb was anything but worn for civil polite, "how do you do's."

The Philosopher's were reminded of all that talk about "_cannibalism_" near the Silver Plate Galaxy. What had once seemed easily dismissed, "As what have those judgmental idiotic nonsensical Pirates created now," was abruptly considered perhaps not so idiotic but rather prophetic? As the Philosopher's made one or two more attempts at conversation, much to many an Earth _Farmer's _horror, it was discovered that Earth being's were in fact, "a very very hostile bunch of pitch fork wielding savages!"

And so with a shot gun bullet or two behind them the Philosopher's of Wanning Wax made their green-headed way home post haste! Never to understand the reason behind a pair of polka-dotted Pajama's for battle gear.

Evee Vicky Violet's pajama's were pink with little polar bears printed on top. They also happened to be quite comfy when one was asleep in a warm bed.

Which at the moment was not Evee's position.

Evee was observing her "_guest", _who she had completely knocked out with a lamp.

Her first thought as she very quietly crept over to where _The Man_ lay was that he was …smaller than she had originally thought. Fit to be sure, but less beefy _football (_a queer earthen sport)playing guy, and more swimmer building _slim jim (_an odd earthen food)_._

All of which wasn't such a bad thing to Evee, if anything it made it all the more easier for her to wrap her head around the whole night and deal with _The Man on the Floor with a swimmer build_.

Shaking her head of that last thought, she saw he had dark black hair slicked back that due to her pummeling had been skewed roughly. It was covering half of his face so that she couldn't quite get a read on that yet.

As she continued her scan she found his clothes to be extremely interesting. He reminded her of a cross of someone from the movie _Underworld_ with the black and green leather jacket material. To some long lost cast member of the show _Game of Thrones_ what with all the subtle but ever prevalent armor he wore, that one just could not ignore.

As she gazed at him she ignored a strange tingling sensation starting in her pit of a soul that was near her stomach to the brain wave of ever growing excitement?! It was with a bizarre bout of euphoria then as she decided, "To H. E. Double Hockey Sticks with everything!", and decided to touch him.

Previously it has been noted that Evee Vicky Violet had a BIG SECRET.

If she had been able to remember this SECRET perhaps she would not have been as shocked by what happened next?

Sadly though, Evee did not remember her own BIG DARK SECRET, and thus was just about as surprised by everyone else in the Universe was at that moment.

It was one of THOSE moments! The kind that people write about all the time when supposed lover's of every corner of the galaxy meet eyes. It was the kind of moment that stops hearts, drowns rabbits, suffocates tabletop aliens and causes black holes to swallow themselves. It was the kind of moment that ended things.

This was greatly true for the Devo Galaxy, which at that same moment in Space and Time decided to no longer exist and self-destructed in a fiery wave of ecstasy! Blinding all the other Galaxies around it by proxy.

It was the kind of moment that had happened during the BIG ONE.

"THE BIG BANG", in People of Earth terms.

Evee had reached down and brushed _The Man's _dark hair aside to reveal his face. When IT happened. She felt IT before she saw IT, with her hand still attached to _The Man's brow _she watched as his beautiful aristocratic pale skin faded to that of a deep deep deep can't get any deeper, dark blue!

His skin was ice cold, but to Evee he felt as warm as the sun.

She watched in sheer confusion as her hand in turn, started to turn blue! Not out of frostbite, but simply to change?

She felt her body pulling almost hypnotically to match the changes that were occurring on him, strange dark lines formed on both of them, when she felt IT!? SOMETHING IN HER MIND WAS BREAKING!

It was like the room filled with an intense heat and she felt her eyes changing their structure! A painful stretching feeling started waging war in her body as she watched _the man _groan as if in pain when he turned from blue to a deep dark midnight BLACK. And then ever so briefly his eyes fluttered open with shades of the entire rainbow if that was possible?!

He then groaned in pain again, his eyes shutting in a grimace as his body began twisting changing again!

It was with a part of Evee's brain she hadn't fully registered that an _Internal voice_ shoved the _Passive voice _of her to the side screaming, "NO! NO! NOT NOW! NOT SAFE! NOT NOW! YOU MUST HIDE HIM! HIDE YOURSELF! QUICK NOW! CHANGE BACK STUPID!"

Upon the orders of her distressed splitting mind, Evee reached out to _The Male Being Like Her_ and forced her way into his sub-consciousness long enough to "tie" them to each other and "bind" him to his original_ human _state.

In the brief moments Evee shared his mind, she felt more than saw anything, however after having to not only transform herself but "_him" _ into just another everyday run of the mill _Earth man and woman._

Well…she was as her Passive Nature Voice said, "Exhausted."

Meanwhile the Internal Voice wherever it had come from breathed a sigh of sweet relief and then promptly fainted.

Evee then took her _human hands_ away from_ his_ rather _nice_ face and laid on the floor beside _him_. Unaware of why it was she felt she needed to. If she had been a Native of the planet Marm she would have been killed just for touching _him._

She tried to register the fact that it felt as though the whole universe had just gotten a whole lot smaller? And still what had happened had only occurred in the spasm of a few thirty seconds, thirty-five to be technical about it.

She looked at _the man _beside her. _His_ face inches from her own.

"Where once was one, now is two?" she said abstractly.

Then closed her eyes to the darkness of fatigue, wondering if this was how _Jen from the movie the Dark Crystal had felt when he had found Kira?_ Or how the whole point of existence seemed to just be an excuse for reasons to use Irony?

Or how in the bloody world she had DONE what she just DID?

OR FOR THAT MATTER WHERE HAD SHE LEARNED HOW TO SHAPESHIFT LET ALONE WHAT THE STRANGE MAN'S NAME WAS?

_The strange man named Loki. _

_Loki who she had hit with a lamp._

_Who was lying on her floor no longer drooling thankfully. _

_The man named Loki, sleeping beside her. _

_In her bedroom!_

_In her apartment, Chinese food restaurant below it and all!_

_The man named Loki._

…_?..._

"It's too late for all this!" she said indignantly, getting off the floor. Only to resume her position next to _Loki_ now with plenty of pillows and a quilt, after all as the people of Bazzooah would say, sounding remarkably similar to those Earthen people called _Jamaicans_, "When odd things hap 'pen in dis life, ya may as well get comfy and just roll on by with it, mahn!"

Thus _Evee_ for the first time slept beside _Loki_.

Leaving the light switch of the room to flick off, entirely by itself, which it then did.


	4. Chapter 4: Tony

Disclaimer: So if anyone is reading this just a quick reminder this is nothing more but a silly, mostly, crack fic in terms of facts & things. I'm shooting for chuckles, guffaws, & at the very least little smiles while at the same time mildly exploring an idea I had. Because well, I just can't wrap my head around the idea of Loki with so much magic & brains being just a Frost Giant? I mean how was it that he was left on Jotunheim as a baby to begin with? Where are the female Frost Giant's anyway? So many questions, perhaps Wikipedia can solve things? Anyhow, I don't own Avengers & all Marvel related things in general sadly. Though I would love to work for them. I do own my own character, such as Evee Vicky Violet and the basic plotline idea of my own devise. Right then, think that about covers it. Reviews are welcome; try not to take this fic that seriously it's meant to be more silly than anything else.

Chapter 4:

_Roy Rogers_ is an earthen food business that can be found all across the continent known as _America_. They serve various items such as "_French Fries"(which were not made by chopping up French people), _to Milkshakes, to the very bizarre thing called a _baked potato?_

Currently at one _Roy Rogers_ we find the infamous _Tony Stark_ in quite an irritated mood dealing with an equally irritated individual named _Pepper Potts._

Pepper Potts who has a doctor appointment later this same day of dire urgency.

The source of Ms. Potts irritation at the moment however, is quite simple.

A call for the _Avengers_ has been initiated in the news that _Loki_ enemy of _Earth _has escaped.

This is part of Ms. Potts annoyance, but to be fair it must be said that Ms. Potts irritation comes more from the fact that Tony has once more seen fit to take yet another one of her fries, without asking.

A sort of careless action, that had Mr. Stark been anything other than a rich, and necessary native of the planet earth, he would have undoubtly caused a war on other planets at least a good hour ago.

"Tony. Please. Be serious," Pepper said as she rubbed her forehead watching as Tony took another one of her fries.

"You going to drink that? Thanks. I am being serious Pep!" replied _Tony Stark aka: Iron Man._

"Really?" Pepper said, sighing as she watched Tony drink the milkshake she had ordered for herself. '_How did I ever end up with this man?'_ she thought, as she sat back in her seat.

A little 'kick' from her stomach region made her grimace, "Look Tony, I know that Fury is not your favorite person, but you have to admit he has a reason to be worried!"

Tony merely shrugged his shoulders. His eyes glancing from side to side, in hopes some nearby escape would make itself apparent.

_It was a shame he was unaware that in back of this Roy Rogers worked the lone alien Bazoo, a wanted space pirate from Sherabuana with as it happened a small warp to another planet. Sadly Tony also called Iron Man was unaware of this fact._

"Tony. You have to call him back," said Pepper as she leaned over the table.

"He's no fun Pep," Tony began fidgeting, "and he wants me to work on some Project he's calling _Lunerosity_. Tell me just by guessing what that may entail? Hmm?" Tony sulked, as he reached for yet another French fry. He just couldn't get enough of those, greasy, salty things!

"I thought you wanted to do a space project?" stated Pepper in questioning exasperation.

"Well…I don't know, lately I've been? I've…." Tony's response trailed off, as he searched that part of all humans that the universe just can't seem to understand entirely much less the humans themselves.

_If the creator of the universe had been asked about this perhaps their reply would have been simply like thus, "Oh yes the heart, tricky bit that was. Took me Ages."_

Tony felt his eyes gaze downward away from Pepper's knowing stare. He just didn't want to do it. Oh the Avengers thing had been fun, despite his short flight from his window. He also could never forget those wonderful seconds of which he thought he was going to perish in a fiery blaze & had been unable to tell the beautif…..pre….nice, woman in front of him that all important L word before '_deep frying'_.

He just didn't know how to say something so life changing. _How was he going to say it? Much less ask her the NEXT BIG QUESTION!_

The thought had been bothering him for weeks.

As he plucked another one of her fries, Tony couldn't help but feel Pepper's eyes upon him, observing him. He knew what she wanted. He also had a sneaking suspicion that he was beginning to realize what oddly enough she _needed_? If he dared to believe it, this being a rather new development for him, the ever famous, rich, party billionaire.

As he was getting lost in the vortex of the mysteries that are the hearts of man, he felt Pepper's hand latch itself onto his.

He looked up. What a wretched mistake that action was.

"Come on Tony," began Pepper her eyes bright with serene faith, "we've known each other now for so long, you know you can tell me anything. Especially after these last few months, what's wrong?"

"_These last few months…" those words played in Tony's head like the soft caress of a gentle rain. The last few months after the Avenger initiative had been bliss. Tony finally had done the incredible and asked Pepper out. They had been dating amongst other more adult things living in what Tony had decided was the closest to heaven he ever would come. It was also why he was so afraid to take action now._

He was afraid of _screwing up and loosing her._

He was no longer much to everyone else's disbelief the _uncaring jerk._

In short, he was done messing around, saving the world, and going on half-baked adventurers. Tony didn't know how to explain this, even to his_ precious_ Pepper.

He didn't know how to chart this new course of his life.

It didn't help that he now also had an expected monthly quota of trouble and hero-work to meet in the "worlds" (_just Earth's) _eyes.

He knew this because of his "_Facebook"_ . _Shield had gone and contacted him through all forms of communication including his Twitter & Tumblr page. _

If it had been anyone else Tony would have laughed at Nick Fury's alias via _Twitter_ which was _BigBroPatcheye. _A reference no doubt to Orson's _1984_ no doubt.

Apparently _Nick Fury_ was the bookish type deep down, going so far as to secretly carry a small mini book of poems in one of his trench coat's pockets! Tony had discovered this by accident via Jarvis & well the less said about _that whole affair the better_ for everyone.

Forcing his mind back to his present conversation Tony placed his other hand overtop Pepper's.

"Nothing's wrong Pep. I've just been really happy with the quiet you know?" he said hopefully. The words falling out of his mouth awkwardly.

Pepper was shocked? Out of all the things for Tony to say she hadn't expected this sort of reaction?

She took in her surroundings to make sure she wasn't dreaming, yes there was that mother with the baby-sitting in a booth nearby.

Yes there was the Roy Roger employee's running around cleaning tables, taking orders.

Yes the sun was shining above her as they sat in the outside seating area, the hustle of the city of _New York_ passing by.

Yes she wasn't dreaming Tony did just say that.

She had to respond!

"Tony Stark that was the sweetest thing you've said to me but I'm not buying it! Now what is wrong?"

"Nothing Pep! Nothing's wrong I swear!"

"Tony….."

"Really Pepper! I mean it, I'm fine, absolutely nothings wrong!"

_NOTHING'S WRONG. _

_Was about the poorest made statement the universe at large had heard in a long time. It was utterly inaccurate! There were so many things that were in fact wrong, that to even think everything was okay. Was well delusional if not highly unrealistic. _

_In fact the sad truth of affairs was the universe had so many problems that it had problems within problems within problems boxed in with a cherry on top of even more problems. _

_There were so many problems that it had gotten to the point where the problems themselves had come to realize that there was just no getting around the fact, Life had Problems._

_Therefore there was plenty wrong nearly everywhere._

_Yet much to the later surprise of the Philosopher's of Wanning Wax it was not the War between the Planet Marm and the Planet Debauchery that was the biggest issue. Nor was it the fact that the Jotuns of Jotunheim were without a leader while their planet was starting to defrost after centuries of ice, for who knows what purpose?_

_It was also not the fact that Pepper Potts of Earth had just been told by her doctor she was going on four months pregnant, much to her startled horror!_

_No the biggest problem was taking place in a little flat above a Chinese Restaurant located on 27__th Chestnut__ Street in the City of Philadelphia again on the Planet Earth called by Asgardians, _Midgard.

_It was a huge problem disguised very well, to all parties involved, and it was opening it's eyes having the distinct thought that was much more accurate then Stark's previous statement._

"_Something's Wrong?" thought Loki as he opened his eyes to stare at an unfamiliar setting, that definitely wasn't his cell._

"_Something's very Wrong!" he thought a bit more loudly. _


End file.
